Deviation

I find myself in a wishful stupor
Mind focused on nothing but walking out the door
Into the bright and blinding sunlight
I hear my name but I can't stand another fight
Because all I really want is to get out
Escape; all of these I'd do without

Could someone?

Fly me away on a horse-drawn carriage
Stuck in a forceful one-sided marriage
An unholy matrimony to the world and its plasticity
I wonder what happened to the simple life and all its beauty
We all escape to worlds beyond

Writhing to keep my head above the clouds
The silence is too deafeningly loud
Reaching out for an invisible hand
Hoping for a haven pure and true to land
Suffocating; my lungs are on fire
Shivering as I fumble down the ladder

Could someone?

The idea of Mars as a home is gaining its appeal
Maybe we could discuss this over a meal
Corporate ladders turn me off like human droppings
Maybe you could say that of the world, I'm full of misunderstandings

Open Doors

Planted in front of white-washed walls
Shake your head, you'd have a thousand falls
Turn on your heel and walk on
Come down to dilapidated doors
No good for you, they'll have you working on all fours
Square your shoulders, you're not forlorn

There comes a time where you sit and think
Of a place where nothing goes by in a wink
These are the days where you will find the strength in you
They are not worth it, more than not worth
Your blood and tears, the energy in their mirth
Pick yourself up and walk on, just like you always do

Arrive at the gates of a stately kingdom
Take a peek, it promises you freedom
The pull is too strong for you to turn back
Enter the gates, they show you wonders of another land
When you're comfortable they'll lead you out by the hand
Hand of metal, hearts as good as black

There comes a time where you sit and break
Apart the parts of your soul they've held in your wake
These are the days where you'll be defeated
By those unworthy, unworthy of your blood
Those who have gotten you by the self and heart
Throw them away, all away, how long you've waited

Build yourself up as a soldier
Once you're out those gates and yonder
You'll be ready for the next battle
This time they won't get you
They will never get you

Ironman

There are times when I'm attacked by crazy dreams
We would elope for a love that would never cease
Then I'd wake, realising you have moved on to her
While I lie beating myself up for not choosing another
I used to be your life and soul
Now she stands trembling, begging for the heart you stole

I wish you kindness, I wish you a change of heart
I wish that with your ways, you'll forever part
I wish you wisdom, I wish you compassion
You ought to be on the front page for taking us as transactions
You ought to be condemned for that iron heart of yours

There are times when I think I've put this behind me
Gotten on with a life that's so much more worth living for
Then I'd regress once more, sinking back to uncertainty
Pulling all thought of you and her down with me
I should have progressed much more than this;
Time is a cruel thing; I have to make it through in one piece

I agree you've opened up my eyes to the world
Without you I would have still been the child I was
It's your turn to grow up, why won't you grow up?
Hearts are fragile objects to play with, Ironman

There Was A Time

There was a time when I was your everything,
Or so you believed.
There was a time when you were my everything,
That will come to change.
There was a time my reluctant caresses drove you crazy;
What happened to it all?
There was a time the mere sight of you made my entire week;
It kills me now.
There was a time when we shared our lives;
Every part of it.
There was a time when we believed we had a future;
Shattered as it has.

Regression

I wonder where you are out there
I wonder what you're thinking, in this chair
You're like a vice I can never let go of
I know I were a mere speck of dust you couldn't wait to shake off
I wonder where did I go wrong
All i can do now is write this sad song

I have learnt to come out of this shell
You've unknowingly encased me in
Just let me regress this one time,
Once more

Seems like life is all love, sacrifice and heartache
I will go with all but one headache
Knowing you would never be here again
Nor have your sweet breath on me again
I will grit my teeth and deny all claims of missing you
Because sometimes the lies are easier to make do
So comes the closure of this sad song

I go about my daily routines
But all the time replaying scenes; our scenes
Life has gone on for me as I have learnt
From the way you made me fall and left me all burnt
I wonder what I could have done;
I never foresaw this game that you'd win

I have taught myself to set free
The parts of my heart you blatantly stole
Just let me regress this one time
Once more

Maybe she will love you more than I could
Maybe someone better will love you more than she could
That, I'll never come to know

The Afterlife

I've got ghosts in my sleep and a burning in my brain
Another flashback and I see where we had lain
I remember the tingles up my spine
And how I had thought we were so fine
I've been chasing shadows in my mind
Too much for too long, too fast and too far gone

How was I to convince myself not everything lasts forever?
And that there is a beginning in every ending?
All I know is that my heart would never waver
I'll be waiting for an end to my self-pitying
Till then I'll fight the demons and ghosts of you
Just to feel alive in this sightly world

You wanted a love song and now you've got eight
Tell me what I didn't do that made it too late
Children should never be taught fairy tales
Dreams against reality where dreams will fail
Where in my life have I faltered
Someone should have warned me about this

So now I've showered you with eight love songs
All of which will never get to you in this lifetime
Where is the point in writing when you are all gone
I don't know how or why and I shall never know in this lifetime
Maybe I will in the next
Maybe I will in the next
This is the afterlife of you

Weakened Warrior

I see myself as a three-dimensional being
With eyes wide open but not seeing
The gaps within myself require something
To fill they up and down to nothing
There is a battle I cannot fight
So is it better, then, to take flight?

Am I missing something, here in this life?
I do not know but all I do know is my strife

They say it's better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all
All I know is I've paid the highest cost
Only to have fallen the hardest fall
Is there something I can do for you?
There is nothing I wouldn't do for you

You are nothing but a square void, just stone to me
Out of reach but not quite out of mind
Was it something I said, I did, you said, you did?
It's a mystery that I'll never let be
You are something I cannot forget
And try as I might you're someone I'll never get back

So this is how it ends
So this is how it goes
In and out of my life you have flown
And it's been ages but I haven't grown
From the state you left me
Stuck in this make-believe

Maybe

So it was the wrong place at the wrong time
I only couldn't see everything was against it
They told me I was too young and out of my mind
Who were they to tell me I couldn't stand on my own feet
I knew they were right but I just wouldn't admit
That one day I would be where I am

Maybe if you were different and I were different
Maybe if I were willing to let go of conventions
Maybe if you stuck to me no matter how it went
Maybe if we could understand you didn't mean all you said and shown
Maybe then we would be different
As far as different could go

So I ran past all the advice and right into the fire
Now I've been burnt right through with nothing more to lost
They always say 'once bitten, twice shy'
Now that my heart's been cut raw and I've to chose
To keep my pride intact or go crawling back
That's another stab through the heart, it'll break me apart

But we are who we are and that would never change
I'll stick to conventions like I thought you would to me
Commitment was something you couldn't make yourself have
I took your word and I believed in everything yous aid to me
We're where we are now for better or for worse
As far as worse can go